


Life Is But A Walking Shadow

by Yellow_Canna



Series: To Thine Own Self Be True [2]
Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reincarnation, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Canna/pseuds/Yellow_Canna
Summary: "Our wills and fates do so contrary runThat our devices still are overthrown.Our thoughts are ours,their ends none of our own."The blond haired teen whispered softly as he gazed up to the moonless sky as the cold droplet of rain seeped through his clothes."Why couldn't you take me with you, you stupid angel?"





	Life Is But A Walking Shadow

_**Before you begin:** _

_This story is a spin-off of my other one shot,[To Be, Or Not To Be](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7512008) (Kuro x Mahiru). You don’t necessarily have to read that one to understand this story, but it would be easier if you do as there are some parts in the story referencing to the other story._

 

* * *

 

“Our wills and fates do so contrary run

That our devices still are overthrown;

Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.”

I lifted my head up to the starless night sky. My hood slid off, pooling around my shoulders as I feel the chilling droplet of rain dabbing against my skin. I opened my crimson eyes, not even blinking as a droplet fell in and rolled out from the corner.

How many years since he last left?

How many more years will he continue to leave?

How many more years until this bittersweet torture end?

I slowly picked up my pace again. The men who were eyeing me before were now looking away in fright once they saw the colour of my eyes. I spared one of them a bored glance and watched as he frantically scurried away.

Despite how heavy the rain was, I could still smell the heavy stench of blood. Through the pitter-patter melody, I could make out various types of screams. There were screams of those still clinging onto bits of hope, screams of despair, as well screams of anguish and promise of revenge.

I hopped over the rubbles of a demolished building.

It was disgusting.

This place is just a giant garbage dump. It was a sealed off little place abandoned by the rest of the world. This was the remains of a war—something I was all too familiar with. With no countries stepping up to claim this land, the people who are left lived without any laws to keep them together.

My nose scrunched up at the possibility that _he_ might be here.

How many years since I’ve last seen those strong, unwavering eyes?

How many years since I’ve heard that arrogant and condescending voice?

How many years since I’ve properly felt his warmth?

“Lawless-san?”

A voice spoke, stopping me in my track as I turned to see a figure stepping out of the shadow from the narrow alleyway—crimson eyes shining brilliantly in the darkness.

“You’re Old Child’s subclass?” I asked, receiving a nod in confirmation before the vampire gestured me to follow.

We moved through the maze within the alleys. I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. I just followed the subclass leading me, my heart squeezing tighter and tighter every step of the way.

Is it him?

Could it be him?

What if it isn’t? What if…?

“You have to be prepared. It…it may not be what you expect…” The subclass mumbled.

I trailed behind him quietly, never once asking what he meant as I wasn’t sure if I wanted an answer. It was only when the other vampire stopped did I realize how we’re standing before a worn out building with a small, narrow window near the ground with light shining from the other side.

I crouched down; peering through the holes in the rag that was the curtain and what I saw made my blood froze.

“What is this?” I choked out hoarsely. My eyes were dilated as I stared unblinkingly at the scene inside.

“…He wasn’t given a name.” The subclass said after a long moment of hesitation—obviously as disturbed as I was. “His mother was the woman of the gang leader in the town’s northern area. Both of them are Europeans, so when she gave birth to an Asian looking child, naturally everyone’s convinced she slept with another man. The leader was so angry that he threw her into one of the brothels he owns and forced her to work there ever since.”

I gawked at the small body sitting in the corner. It was so battered and broken…but that wasn’t all. The room I was peeking in had a bed. And on that bed, I saw the naked bodies of a woman and man, sliding against each other in ways that I wanted to throw up.

“That woman was indeed sleeping around, but never with any Asian as there aren’t many around here.” The subclass continued. “So she saw the child as a monster and refused to admit she gave birth to him. The only reason he was able to survive so long was because one of the other prostitutes in the brothel took pity on him. But according to our information, that prostitute died three years ago from overdose and since then the child was—”

“Trash!” A woman’s screech vibrated against the window. I turned back in time to see a cup being hurled into the air and shattered against the cracked cement wall right beside the child. It must have meant to hit him, but it missed, causing glass shards to fly everywhere instead.

I gritted my teeth when I saw a couple shards grazed by the delicate skin of the still growing child, drawing out bright red fluid from his flesh.

“Get another cup of water!” The woman shouted impatiently. “Are you listening you—”

Before the woman could finish, the broken body of the boy surprisingly moved. I blinked in shock, only catching a glimpse of defiant and unwavering blue eyes before the kid limped out of the room. The woman’s angry shrieks filled the air, but I didn’t even notice as my eyes focused on that open doorway.

A crazed smile stretched over my face as my heart beat heavily.

It’s him.

No child—no, not even a grown man could have such pure eyes after living in a dump like this.

It has to be him.

It has to…

I crouched down as the muscles in my legs tightened. Without another word to Old Child’s subclass, I kicked off the ground, propelling myself into the sky as I landed soundlessly on the edge of the building.

My eyes searched around until I found that small body shuffling out of the side door in the alleyway.

The kid was using the wall as support for his bad leg, leaving behind bloodied fingerprints that lasted only a couple of seconds before getting washed away by the rain. I followed him quietly from the roofs, crimson eyes never leaving that tiny form as he slipped from shadow to shadow until he arrived at a dump.

I could almost hear the sound of my heart shattering when I saw the kid digging around the trash until he found a blacked apple core and something completely I couldn’t even identified filled with mould.

Before I could even think, I was in front of the boy, slapping away the spoiled food he was about to shove into his mouth.

The child’s surprise only lasted for a second before fury twisted over his face. A low growl echoed from his throat as he curled into himself. His form looked exactly like an animal, starved for days and pushed into a corner, yet those eyes burned with the will to survive…to keep on living.

“Come with me.” I mumbled softly as the boy stilled.

His eyes widened for a brief moment before those sapphire eyes frosted over.

“Whoa!” I jumped back when the brat tried to aim a kick to my shin. Taking his chance while I had backed away, the boy turned tail and ran. Despite all the injuries and the weakness he showed before, he was surprisingly fast. However, I caught up to him in no time and grabbed him by his shoulders.

“You’re hurt, you shouldn’t—ow!” I cried when his ragged nails sank into my wrist.

“You little— **AH!** ” I jerked back, now desperately trying to push away the kid whose jaw is locked tightly around my hand.

“Stop— **GYAAAH!** ”

**_“AAAAAAAAH!!”_ **

_Tears poured out of my unblinking eyes as I stared at the scene before me. The white of his hair was died in red as he lay in a puddle of crimson blood. His body was completely battered, filled with bullets and holes as proof of the massacre that had happened._

_I tried to form words, to call out to him…but only cries escaped._

_Why?_

_Why does it always come to this?_

_Why does fate always make the Eves come back to our side, only to die in front of us over and over again?_

_What sins did they commit to deserve this?_

_I held onto the cold body that already lost all its warmth long ago. I hated him for leaving me alone all over again…I hated the world for always taking him away from me…but most of all, I hated myself for my inability to protect him._

_“It’s certain now.” Pride said with anger twisting his face. His pipe was lying on the ground beside him, shattered from the sheer force of his tiny fist. “There is a traitor among the subclass.”_

_The loud pattering rhythms of the rain were the only sound around us. The cold droplets beat heavy against my body, but I could barely feel it. I just stared unblinkingly at the tombstone in front of me._

_Again…how many times will I have to bury him? How many more times do I have to come back here, reading those same words engraved on the stone tablet?_

_Why couldn’t I join him?_

_Once more, I was lost._

_As the last bit of sunlight faded away into the darkness, I returned to my human form. How long has it passed since that time? That night when we left them in the safe house, believing that everything will be alright…_

_“Human life is so fleeting…” I cackled bitterly as I leaned against the cold stone tablet, looking down at the newspaper in my hand._

_The existence of vampires has finally been exposed to public and the world was now in thrown into chaos. In this war with the humans, it was ironically the Eves that lost their lives. The government killed them while pretending to discuss treaty with the eight Servamps. To get rid of us, they murdered their own kind._

_“Lawless. Let’s go.” A deep voice spoke flatly as I looked up to see the eldest of the Servamp standing in front of me. His shoulders were hunched and his hands in his pockets. Behind him were the other Servamps, all of them were there, even Tsubaki with a grim look on his face._

_“Ah.” I answered slowly as I hopped onto my feet._

_I stared at big brother’s back as we walked in absolute silence._

_That’s right…_

_We have no choice but to move forward. For the sake of meeting them again…for the sake of giving them a brighter future…we have to keep on moving._

I raised a furry little paw, rubbing the sleep off my face before I slowly looked around to find that I had fallen asleep on the roof again. I yawned, arching my back towards the warm sunlight as my quills shook gently.

Hearing a gruff voice, I walked over to the edge of the roof, peeking over to see Guildenstern reading a book with a small, black haired child sitting docilely beside him.

I rested on the warm tiles, listening as the child little by little repeated the lines the older man had read. Gradually, the sun disappeared into the horizon. Thinking that it should be time to go back, I leaped into the air, morphing into my human form and landing onto the balcony with a soft _tap_.

While my steps were light, the child immediately reacted like a cat with its fur all puffed up. I laughed out loud at the reaction I’ve gotten.

“That happy to see me, huh?”

“Who would be happy to see you?” That was the retort I got.

“Hey now! Is that the attitude you should use for someone who bought you that new book?” I smirked, eyeing the book in my subclass’s hand containing a collection of the Disney’s short stories.

When the kid heard my words, he instantly paled. Those shimmering blue eyes darted between me and his new book. Unable to find anything to counter back, the boy snatched the book out of Guildenstern’s hand and chose to flee from the room.

I listened as his little footsteps echoed down the hallway before the door to his own room was slammed shut.

“Did you have to tease him?” Guildenstern sighed once he was certain the child was out of earshot.

I didn’t respond. I stared out the doorway for the longest time before turning to the window and disappeared into the forest surrounding our little house.

By the time I came back, it was way past midnight. I checked my phone and saw a couple new messages—most of them were complaints from Gluttony. There was still nothing from the eldest of the family. Even Doubt Doubt texted me once…though that was more of a threat message.

Seeing the dim light shining from the window on the second floor, I knew that brat hasn’t gone to sleep yet. With a simple jump, I landed quietly onto the windowsill. I peered into the room and found the boy lying on the edge of his twin bed. His back was to me, curling as close as he can get to the lamp on the nightstand as he struggled to read that new book I got him.

“And so…the…pre—…puri…” The boy’s clicked his tongue constantly, as though doing so will help his tongue roll better as he struggled on forming words.

Slipping off my shoes, I crawled onto the bed. Before the boy could even react, I had already pulled him against my chest, holding the book in front of him and the lamp over our heads.

“And so the princess and her friends lived happily ever after.” I said softly, easily finding the sentence the boy was trying to read. Almost immediately, the anger on the black and white haired kid vanished, replaced by determination as he looked back down at the sentence he was stuck on.

While he didn’t read it out loud like he did with Guildenstern, I knew he was mentally repeating the words I had just said. When a pleased look crossed his face, I smiled and turned the page to the next story. I slowly read it to him as time ticked by.

By the time I’ve finished the fourth story, the little brat was already asleep in my arms. I set the book and lamp aside before wrapping both my arms around him. I could feel the rise and fall of his body every time he breathes. I could feel that tiny heartbeat beating gently against my chest. His eyes under his eyelids would occasionally move and his muscles would twitch, making me curious as to what kind of dream he was having.  

He was so warm…so full of life.

Yet how long will that last?

How many years will I have to feel it again…that cold, hard body that would shatter if I apply just the slightest strength.

_“Hey…Licht-tan…there are a lot of Mr. Pigeon today.” I chuckled as I rested my chin on the rough surface of the tombstone and stared at those grey coloured birds flocked in front of the grave._

_“Hey Licht-tan…can you hear me?” I called out again, my voice softer as I threw out another hand full of dried breadcrumbs._

_“Hey Licht-tan…didn’t you like Mr. Pigeon?”_

_Another handful._

_“Hey Licht-tan…don’t you want to see Mr. Pigeon?”_

_Another handful._

_“Hey Licht-tan…”_

_…_

_“Hey…Licht-tan…”_

_…_

_Blood splattered over the grave, dying the lush green grass in crimson as feathers slowly fluttered down from the sky._

_“Hey…Licht-tan…” I said quietly as I leaned back against the cold stone tablet that was also sticky with blood. “Look…I’ve killed all of them. Are you angry? Are you going to kill me?”_

_I buried my face into my knees. My hands that were stained with blood quivered ever so slightly as I felt nauseas building from the bottom of my stomach. The heavy smell of rusted iron made me want to vomit._

_It was strange how time changed people. Or perhaps it was after meeting Licht did I really start to understand how to cherish life. The feeling of killing the things Licht loved was anything but pleasant…but I was already broken._

_I was broken long ago. He was the one who kept the pieces together…but now he’s gone again._

_“…Why couldn’t you take me with you, you stupid angel?”_

“Angel-chan! How many times do I have to tell you that it’s **impossible**?!” I cried, pacing back and forth under the shadow as I stared at the boy high up in the pine tree. He was wearing those dumb wings again as he looked towards the horizon fearlessly.

“This time for sure.”

“Like hell!” I screamed as I scratched my head furiously. Where in the world are those damn subclasses when you need them?! More importantly, just what in the world is wrong with that kid’s brain for him to think he can fly with those stupid things? Even if Licht was delusional, he at least knew what he was capable of. But apparently, the bandages wrapped around that brat’s head did nothing to remind him of how gravity works.

“Get down from there Licht-tan!”

“Stop calling me that!” The kid snapped, annoyed that I got his name _wrong_ again.

“Licht-tan!”

“It’s _Angel_!” _Angel_ snarled.

If the boy had any doubt he could fly with cardboard wings before, it was all washed away by the moment of rage and the determination to prove me wrong. I panicked when he edged further on the branch he was clinging onto. I looked down at the shadows by my feet then to the sunlight just inches away.

Hearing the creaking sound of wood, I looked up and screamed when the boy propelled himself into the air with his arms spread wide. I ran out, but only to lost control of my legs as I tumbled and rolled into the bushes.

I wiggled around, desperately trying to pull my quills from the ground before darting out on my stubby paws. When I saw the sight before me, I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding in. There, under the pine tree, were my subclasses with the idiotic child tucked safely in their arms.

“Hurry up and step back.” Guildenstern said as his large frame suddenly appeared before me, blocking me from the kid’s view. “How do you plan on making contract with him if he sees your animal form beforehand and find out it’s you?”

I huff, taking a couple of steps back until I returned to the shade and fell heavily on my rear. I wiped off some of the cold sweats that have seeped out of my pores and heaved out a heavy sigh.

“Are you still not going to confront him?” Guildenstern asked as he stepped off to the side, letting that child back into my view once more.

I eyed the boy in the distance. The idiot was surrounded by all types of mascots trying to distract his attention with various toys.

“That’s none of your business.” I mumbled as I fell onto my back, looking up to the lush green leaves rustling in the gentle wind.

Ten years old.

Licht was just ten years old.

During these two years with that kid, I can’t help but hesitate every time I think about sealing our contract. Wouldn’t it better for him to keep living like this—not knowing that he can only live for eight more years?

Wouldn’t it be better for him to not remember the feeling of when those bullets tore him apart?

Wouldn’t it be better for him to forget all those final moments?

Wouldn’t it be better if—

“What are you thinking about?” A voice spoke as I suddenly found Licht’s face hovering over me. He had on his usual scowl as he glared down at me with those sapphire eyes brimming with confidence.

“That’s a dumb look on your face, stupid demon!” He spat before his face disappeared from my view. I hurriedly sat up to see him walking away with Guildenstern and the rest of my subclasses.

“Wait, Licht—” I reached out, trying to call out to him. But at that moment, the young Licht was gone, replaced by the 18 years old Licht that I had first met.

 _“What are you so afraid of, you damn rat?”_ His deep voice echoed, looking down at me with those sharp eyes. Then he turned around and vanished into the nothingness.

My hand slowly fell back to my side as a breeze swept by, causing the forest to come to life. I sat there for a long time, eyes never leaving that spot where Licht once stood.

And then…I laughed.

I fell back onto the grass and laughed so hard that tears started to prickle my eyes.

Seriously, what am I doing?

This is so uncool.

Since when did I returned back to that time?

I carefully slipped a hand into my shirt, pulling out a worn out dog tag with a name carved into it. I took a step forward, then two. Before I knew it, I was running on all four, scurrying across the tall grass as I chase after Licht.

Needless to say, no one in the house was able to sleep that night…

 **“YOU BASTARD!”** That was the first word he had said—or roared as I tasted his blood on the tip of my tongue and the pain of his small foot drilling into my stomach. Despite the pain, I couldn’t stop laughing as I looked up at those sapphire eyes filled with rage.

My jaw dropped when I saw the boy’s eyes moistened. Anger I had expected it, violence even more so…but never did I think that he could tear up like this. But then I remembered that the boy is still just a boy. Even with his memories back, he was still a child and the body of children can become very emotional.

That’s right…that gotta be it. There’s no other ways to explain it.

“For two years…you’ve wasted **two** years of my time! You rotten rat! **_DIE!_** ”

Ah…this was Licht-tan…

It really is Licht-tan...

My Eve was finally back…

_But…_

“Ow, ow, OUCH! W-wait, time out! Time out, Licht-tan!”

_…For how long?_

_How much longer will this happiness last?_

“Let’s go to Japan! I wanna go to Japan!” I squeaked, trying to show off my cute side as I wiggled my paws at my Eve. Unfortunately, the boy didn’t even spare me a glance. His eyes are practically glued to the television showing some newborn panda cubs at the Shanghai zoo.

“Hey Licht-tan!” I jumped up and down, but those eyes didn’t waver by the slightest bit. I glared at the screen behind me. I’m obviously way cuter than those stupid monochrome bears, how can he ignore me like this?!

I sat on the edge of the table, thinking for a moment before an idea came to mind. I turned back into my human form and grabbed my phone from the counter.

“Hey Licht-tan, let’s go see real life panda!”

“Mr. Panda?” That caught Licht’s attention as his eyes snapped towards me.

“Yeah!” I flopped down onto the couch beside him and held up my phone. “See? Japan got giant pandas too! They have three cubs in Tokyo!”

I hurriedly showed him the picture of the bears. I grinned when Licht snatched my phone from my hand to get a closer look.

“And their birthdays are tomorrow! They’ll be a year old Licht-tan! Let’s go celebrate their birthdays with them!” I lied easily. If there is anything Licht can’t reject, it’s animal and…

“Birthday?” Licht’s eyes sparkled in delight before he was already running up the stairs. “Pack your things you stupid rat! We’re going to Japan right now!”

I snickered quietly into my hand and picked up my phone that had been left on the table. “This never gets old.” I smirked as I closed the photo before seeing that message that was still left open from this morning. There was just one sentence written on it.

[Sleepy Ash is in Tokyo.]

It was a message from Old Child.

After forty years, the Servamp of Sloth has finally shown himself.

My eyes drifted to the fumbling noises coming from upstairs. Seeing as Licht has been reincarnated, the other Eves are surely somewhere in this world as well.

Does that mean that after all this time the news of the Eves’ return finally reached Sleepy Ash? Or perhaps…was Shirota Mahiru finally found?

My eyes darkened as the image of that day flashed by my eyes. The memory of those claws ripping through the flesh of the human that turned out wasn’t who we all thought to be. It was a fear that haunted the oldest of the Servamp…as well as the rest of us to some degree. The very thought of making a contract with someone who looked like Licht—only to realize he wasn’t made me sick. I set my phone aside and leaned back into the couch. I stared at the gray sky beyond the window, quietly counting down the time we have left.

Ninety-one days…

In ninety-one days, Licht’s time will come to another end.

_“Hey…what exactly are Eves?”_

_I asked, poking around the food in front of me without an ounce of interest. The sound around me stopped as the other Servamps glanced at me. “What exactly are **true** Eves? Why do they keep on reincarnating, even though they’re supposed to be ordinary humans?”_

_“Hah? What kind of question is that?” World End said through a mouthful of food. “They are our other half of course!”_

_“Other half?” I cackled as I dropped my fork into the plate. The clanging sound echoed through the silent dining room. My smile disappeared as my fist struck down, breaking off a large chunk of the wooden table._

_“What other half?!” I screamed and stood up to face my other siblings. “It’s just a curse! They keep dying over and over again and each time they come back they won’t live longer than their previous lifespan! They come back only to die in front of us again!”_

_What exactly are Servamps?_

_What exactly are Eves?_

_“Why don’t you all just admit it?!” I shouted as my eyes snapped to the only chair that was missing its occupant._

_If the existences of Eves are truly made for us…_

_“They’re dying because of us!”_

_Why are we the ones killing them?_

_“Lawless, that’s enough.” Old Child snapped in an ordering tone, but I was done._

_I walked out of the manor, slamming the door behind me as I go. I hated how none of them had to guts to admit it. They knew it was true. We had all known, but we kept silent as if not admitting it out loud meant it wouldn’t be the truth._

_We are the ones killing our Eves, and it was because of us that they kept coming back. It was because of us that they kept dying and will continue on dying until every trace of their existences are erased from this world._

_They could have died peacefully…Licht had died at a peaceful age of ninety-five._

_That was the end…it **should** have been the end, but he came back. _

_When I saw that replicate of the eighteen years old pianist exactly eighteen years after his death, I knew instantly that was Licht. I was scared by the discovery, but that fear was soon left behind and replaced by relieve. I even thought of it as a miracle. But as he died over and over and the time it takes for him to reincarnate becomes longer, I realized it wasn’t a miracle._

_It was a curse._

_I was the one who crippled his wings._

_I’m the devil chaining the angel to this world._

“Nii-san!” I shouted, kicking the door to the old manor open as I ran in—only to be greeted with a bunch of curses and swearing.

I stared at the group of vampires in front of me. They were all gathered around World End and Old Child, shouting and cheering as the two Servamps wore weird looking gears and performing even weirder movements as though fighting some invisible enemies. When I looked up, I saw holographic screens hovering over their heads, showing a completely different world where two characters faced off with one another.

“…What is this?”

“Oh, Hyde-kun! You sure arrived quickly. I wasn’t expecting you until another day.” I looked over at the voice and found the second youngest of the Servamps, All of Love standing beside me.

“Of course I did!” I snapped, taking out my phone and shoving it into his face. “What’s with this message?! Where’s nii-san?! Didn’t you guys found him?!”

“Ah, if it’s Kuro-kun, Tsubaki-kun took him out this morning.” All of Love said as he lightly pushed my phone back.

“…Hah?” My brows furrowed. Since when did those two gotten so friendly? “Then when is nii-san coming back?”

“I don’t know, Tsubaki-kun didn’t say.” The Servamp of Lust replied before two blood curling screams came from the other side of the room. I looked over and instinctively jumped back when I saw Wrath standing between the two terrified Servamps as the screen above showed a horrifying looking monster beating the two humanoid characters down.

“Seems like everyone’s here.” I mumbled, hurriedly shifting my eyes away as Greed and Pride’s screams continued to resonate from the background. “Come to think of it, where’s your Eve?”

“Misono went out with the other Eves about an hour ago.” All of Love replied. “Where is Licht-kun? Did he not come with you?”

“Who knows?” I grumbled and glanced down at the time on my phone. “He ran off the moment he got up this morning.”

“Then would you like to join us?” All of Love said, gesturing to the game the vampires are playing.

When I looked over, I sweat dropped at the two Servamps lying on the floor, _literally_ beaten up with The Mother’s high heel pinning them to the ground.

“Big sister Wrath! You don’t need to fight in real life! It’s VR! It’s VR!”

“To hell with your _VR_ , it’s called virtual reality! It’s not real, big sister Wrath!”

Wrath’s subclasses scrambled to explain how the game works to their boss-lady while the subclasses of the two defeated Servamps were frantically trying to save the pair from under Wrath’s foot.

To sum it up, it was chaos.

“…I’m fine!” I said as I hurried to the doorway. “Call me when nii-san comes back!”  

The door slammed shut, cutting off the noises inside the manor as I grabbed one of the many black umbrellas by the doorway and flicked it open. With the parasol’s protection, I headed out into the sunlight. I checked my phone every now and then, but Licht didn’t even called or message.

I clicked my teeth in annoyance. I didn’t know why I was so irritated, but today just felt like a bad day.

“Licht-tan!” I kicked open the door to our hotel room and was disappointed to find that Licht didn’t come back. I huffed and sat on my bed. I gazed out to the sun gradually setting beyond the window, then to the doorway as if a certain pianist will walk in at any moment.

“That bastard…where did he go?” I muttered into the palm of my hand.

I ran my fingers through my hair, heaving out a heavy sigh as I glanced to the picture sitting on the nightstand. I picked it up to see Licht and I…sitting on a bench with a panda cub between us. I laughed out at the stupid look on Licht face, just like I was doing at the time the picture was taken.

However, my laugh didn’t last long as silence soon returned to the hotel room.

I flopped down onto the bed and closed my eyes. I bit the bottom of my lip, not caring that I was drawing out my blood as memories began to flood my mind.

In a little over three months…how will it end this time?

Will he die right on that cursed date, or will he die before then?

Will it be painful, or will it be swift?

I covered my forearm over my eye. A familiar itchy sensation came to my nose as tears began to gather around my lashes. I pressed down my arm harder, using the sleeve to soak up the moisture before they can grow too heavy and fall from my eyes.

I didn’t know how long I’ve remained like that for. It wasn’t until I felt my phone buzzing beside me that I finally moved. My joint popped as I reached out, patting around the mattress until my hand found the tiny device. I winced when the bright screen almost blinded me. It was then that I noticed how dark the room had become.

I walked out to the balcony. The sun was now nothing but a golden line across the horizon. Rubbing my eyes a little to adjust, I looked down and gasped to see that it was a message from Licht. I quickly opened it up, expecting a few verbal harassments when all that came out was a screen shot of a map with a red dot.

“The heck…?” I mumbled as I enlarged the picture. I stared at that red dot, then to the distance where a dark silhouette of a tower was in clear view.

The Tokyo Tower.

I scratched the back of my head. I had no idea what Licht was playing at, but I knew he was telling me to go there. I didn’t think much of it as I hopped off the rail and into the busy street below. The people around just walked by as though nothing had happened. When I caught some young kids staring at me with sparkly eyes, I just waved. I watched as they giggled and ran off. It was at times like this that I couldn’t help but think of how time had changed.

When I’ve gotten to the Tokyo Tower, the sun has completely set. But seeing as the sky was still somewhat bright, I couldn’t be too late. Either way, I braced myself for some kicks as I stepped out of the elevator and looked around the inside of the tower.

Since it was in the middle of September, there aren’t much people around even if it was a weekend. With just a simple glance, I knew Licht wasn’t here. I looked at the map on my phone again, but the red dot is specifically marking down this place.

I looked around before noticing the emergency staircase.

Immediately, I wanted to slap myself for how dumb I was. I slipped through the door, going unnoticed by the staffs as I headed upwards until I’ve reached the very top. When I came out into the still warm autumn breeze, I saw a lone figure standing in the distant.

“Yo, Licht-tan~” I greeted with a smile on my face as I skipped over to him. “I knew you’ve missed—ugh!” I coughed as a foot was drilled into my stomach, sending my flying back until I crashed through the door I came out from.

I rolled down couple flights of stairs before finally hitting a wall and coming to a stop.

I laid on my back with my spine bent and knees touching the ground on each side of my head. I blinked once, then twice before I noticed something wrong. Licht had kicked me without saying a word.

Usually, he would shout “die” or “stupid rat” or “die”. But this time, he hadn’t said anything. Hastily untangling my limbs, I hopped to my feet. With a burst of strength, I charged back out only to find Licht gone.

“Licht-tan?” I called as I looked around the empty space. At that moment, the gentle melody of piano sounded through the night.

“Up there, huh?” I mumbled, looking upward to the complicated maze of the tower itself. With small little leap, I landed onto one of the red steel beam with ease. I began jumping from one to another, effortlessly scaling up the tower until I was arrived at the very top. Being this high up, the space was naturally narrower, but Licht didn’t seemed the slightest bit bothered as he sat there, gracefully playing on a piano conjured by his power.

It was a soothing, relaxing melody, but as I began to listen closer, goose bumps began to crawl over my skin. Something wasn’t right. Licht’s attitude today, his melody…nothing seemed right today.

“Licht-tan?” I called out, not caring if I was disturbing him. Interruption was one of the things that Licht won’t tolerate, but he kept playing as though he didn’t even hear. I walked onto another steel beam and called out to him again, but he continued to keep playing.

Getting frustrated at being ignored, I called out to him for the third time, raising my voice to the point of screaming.

The melody was abruptly broken by Licht slamming his palms over the keys just as the tower flared up in fiery reddish-orange light.

My eyes rounded as I stared at the image of the boy wrapped in the golden light as though the darkness behind him couldn’t even taint him no matter how hard they tried. Those bright, sapphire eyes were dyed into amber as they slowly locked against my crimson ones.

I stared into those bright eyes, searching for something…anything to calm this uneasiness I was getting.

“Licht-tan, let’s go back.” I found myself saying weakly.

I didn’t know why, but something didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right after arriving at Japan. This timing, this _place_ …it was all driving me crazy.

“It’s late. Good angels sleep early, remember?” I softly spoke out the words I would tell the young Licht when he was still oblivious to his true identity.

“…Your blood.”

“Ah?” I looked up at Licht when the other finally spoke.

“Give me your blood.” Licht demanded haughtily.

“… **Hah?** ” For a split second, I was dumbfounded, but I quickly regained myself as I met his gaze steadily.

“What kind of joke is that?” I snapped. If my voice had any playfulness before, it was completely gone now. “We’re going back to the hotel, Licht-tan.”

“What are you so afraid of?” Licht huffed as a strong breeze blew by, blowing up his midnight black and pearl white hair along with the pair of wings attached to his backpack. “Don’t tell me you’ve never once thought about turning me into your subclass, you stupid rat.”

“Licht-tan…” I growled as my hands rolled into fists.

“What’s wrong? Got nothing to say to that?” Licht sneered, holding his head even higher as the shadows casted over his eyes darkened. The bastard was looking down on me.

“Licht-tan…”

“You’re running away again.”

“Licht-tan!”

“What are you so afraid of, shitty Hyde?!”

“I’M AFRAID OF LOOSING YOU!”I screamed, for the first time voicing out my unease ever since the start of this year when the atmosphere between us grew tense.

“You’re already losing everything!” Licht yelled back, he too letting go of the things he had also kept to himself for so long. “You think you’ve changed? You haven’t changed at all! You’re acting the same as you were back then!”

“Better than to risk losing you forever! You don’t know what it could do! Do you want to disappear for good?!”

“I’m an angel! I can’t disappear!”

“Gaah! Shut up! Shut up! We’re going back!”

“Just give me your blood you damn rat!”

“I SAID we’re going BACK!”

**“YOU’RE JUST SCARED!”**

**“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT?!”** I howled, panting harshly as I glared up at Licht who was equally out of breath from that short exchange.

“Tell me…” I said, not even realizing how my voice became vulnerable as I gazed up at that being shining so brightly like the sun we’re cursed and denied from. “Tell me what is wrong with that, Licht-tan.”

“…Shouldn’t you know that long ago?” Licht sneered. “If you can’t make up your damn mind, then I will do it for you.”

“What are you—?” Before I could finish, Licht was suddenly in front of me.

Time seemed to slow as I watched his hand reached for my stomach. It was when I noticed two piano keys drawn on my shirt in some kind of black ink that I realized what was going on. That kick back then, this is what it was for!

I reached out to stop him, but I was too late. The moment his fingers jammed into my stomach and right into those keys, my body vibrated as the deep stringing sound of piano tore me apart from inside out. In that moment, I felt like I’ve lost control over my body. I could only watch as Licht leisurely balanced on the narrow steel beam. His back was turned to me with his head tilted back as though gazing up at the murky sky. His winged backpack was dangling in his long, slender fingers—swaying to the strong current of wind.

I wanted to call out to him, to reach for him…but my body wouldn’t move and the piano was still resonating inside my head.

I watched that backpack the angel treasured so much was thrown into the air and disappeared into the night. He spun around—arms stretched out wide as those brilliant eyes still bathed gold met with mine. A smile lifted the corner of his lips before he kicked off the steel beam.

The soft glow of light wrapped around him vanished as darkness took over, swallowing him whole as Licht began to fall.

This had all happened within a split second.

Everything had happened so fast that I wasn’t even given time to think. The moment I broke free from the vibration, I bolted downward like a stream of black lightning.

 **“LICHT-TAN!”** I cried, only able to catch a glimpse of those sapphire eyes softening at me before a sickening smack echoed into my ears.

Screams of humans shortly followed as they all scurried away from the body that had seemingly appeared from out of nowhere and painted the concrete in a vibrant crimson hue.

 **“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!”** I screamed over and over as my knees fell into the warm puddle of blood.

Once more, I had to watch Licht disappear from me…helpless to do anything.

No…

Not helpless.

There was method. There’s always been a method; I was just too scared to try.

“Is this revenge?” I mumbled, my voice trembling as I leaned over the bloody mess. I gazed down at those sapphire eyes that are rapidly losing light. Licht’s lips trembled for a moment before going still. He was dying, yet those eyes still held that arrogant look I wanted to smack off his face.

To be or not to be.

I knew this was it.

To let my Eve die now, or to let my Eve die in the future.

The decision was simple, yet difficult. And worst of all, the one forcing me to make such stupid decision was that same damn Eve.

“You don’t play fair…” I whispered as my lips lifted into a bitter smile. My sight began to blur, but I held it in, refusing to let any of my tears fall. “Once this is over I’m going to kill you with my own hands.”

I bit down on my tongue and dragged my fang over the flesh, ripping it open as the bitter blood unique to only vampires instantly filled my mouth.

Our lips met in the most normal way possible.

For the first time, there was no fighting over dominancy, no anger, no pain. Even the competitive desire to beat one another was nonexistent. And yet it was such dull kiss that craved a place in my mind. I watched as those sapphire eyes slowly disappeared behind those pale eyelids before I closed my eyes as well, finally letting lose my tears as I tried to commit every moment into memory.

That was our first and last mundane kiss…

oOo

“Umm…Licht-tan?”

“What now?”

“Like I said…this is impossible!” I cried, clawing desperately at the rope digging into my furred belly and my poor quills.

“Quit complaining and sniff out their scent.” Licht ordered as I rolled to the left to narrowly avoid getting kick into the air.

“This is animal—no, vampire abuse!” I cried. “It’s domestic violence! Besides, why don’t _you_ do it?”

At the mention of that, Licht’s eyes suddenly lit up. Immediately, I found myself regretting my words as I stare at the dangerous gleam in his eyes.

“Uh…Licht-tan?”

“That’s right, I can also turn into Mr. Hedgehog now!”

“Licht— **tan?!** ” I squeaked as smoke blasted through the small alley. I coughed and waved my tiny paws around, trying to clear some of the smoke away so I can actually see. When a white blur darted by me, I chased after it without a second thought. “Licht-tan!”

I yelled, running out of the dark alleyway and into the wide street. Since it was only four in the morning, the place was devoid of life, so spotting that ball of white with a single black strip animal wasn’t hard.

“Licht-tan! Wait! That’s the way we came from!” I shouted, running after him only to trip on the tail of the rope (leash?) still bounding my waist. **“LICHT-TAAAAAN!”**

oOo

That was how I found myself crashing through the door three hours later, my face burning as I slid a couple feet across the finely waxed floor before coming to a stop.

“You bastards! What do you two think you’re doing in other people’s home?!” That agohe midget’s voice echoed from somewhere in the distance, but I can’t bother with that now.

Quickly wiping off the footprint on my face, I looked up and the first pair I spotted was the eldest of the Servamp and his Eve.

“Ah! Big brother and Shirota Mahiru!” I waved my hands in the air to catch their attentions. “Merry Christmas Eve!”

“Merry Christmas…” Sleepy Ash yawned, lazily as usual.

I looked around. When I saw all the familiar faces of my siblings and some of their Eves, I wasn’t surprised that we were late to the party.

“Licht-tan, Licht-tan!” I smirked as I turned to the open doorway. “Looks like we’re the last to arrive!”

“Whose fault do you think it is, you stupid rat!” Licht growled before I found myself smacked onto the ground with a foot pressed on top of my head.

“How is it my fault?!” I yelled, flopping my arms in useless struggle. “Besides, if Licht-tan didn’t insist on turning right, we would have—kyah **!** ”

I slapped the ground hard when that stupid sadist began to grind his foot down. “Ow, ow, ow! I’ll go bald! Licht-tan! My hair! You’re pulling out my hair!”

 “I didn’t make the wrong turn!” Licht hissed and all of the sudden the pressure over my head disappeared.  “That is because I am…a fallen angel!”

 **“WOHOO!”** I bounded up, getting onto one knee beside him and fluttered my hands. “There it is!! Fallen angel-chan! So cool! Fallen angels are way cooler than any archangel!”

I hopped onto his other side and threw out a handful of the black rose petals I have prepared for this special occasion. “In Spanish, it’s ¡Qué chido!”

“Oi you bastards!” Lust’s Eve shouted again. “Don’t litter over my floor!”

“Lawless.” A dark voice spoke, sending a chill down my spine as I stiffly turned to see Wrath standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. There was that scowl on her face as she glared down at me.  

“I-I’m sorry.” I trembled, darting behind Licht’s back and using him as a shield to keep a distance between us. “A-are you angry?”

“No…?” Wrath said, keeping that stern expression on her face as she clapped her hand. “That was good.”

I can never get used to her sense of humour…

“Lawless!” I yelped as World End was suddenly in my face, gripping onto my scarf and began to shake me violently. “Where is it?! Hand it over right now!”

“Where is what?!” I shouted back while gripping onto the frame of my glasses to prevent it from falling.

“Croquettes! Tortilla Espanola! The jamon!” World End screamed with drools already leaking from his mouth. I was digging my heels into the ground, desperately keeping a certain distant between us as I watched those thick saliva barely missed me. “You said you’re bringing food from Spain!”

“I only said croquettes! Don’t add to that list on your own!” I snapped while struggling to free my scarf from that death grip. “Besides, Gil and the others should have brought it here already! Didn’t they arrive here before us?”

“If it’s your subclasses, they are resting upstairs.” All of Love informed us from the banquet table. “The croquettes are currently in the refrigerator. I will be bringing it up shortly—”

“Lilly!” The Eve of Lust gasped as All of Love paused, seeming to realize he has said something he probably shouldn’t have.

Just as the Servamp of Gluttony was about to charge to the kitchen, a black gloved hand grabbed him in the back of his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.

“Where are you going?” Wrath said, looking down darkly at her sibling who gulped and just allow himself to be dragged away.

I watched from behind Licht while the Servamp of Lust behind his Eve. It was only when The Mother was further away did we both let out synchronized sighs of relieve.

“How long are you going to hold onto me, you lowly ranked demon?”

“Gyah!” I yelped, kissing the floor once again as Licht mercilessly stepped over my body and ran for Christmas tree.

“You seemed like you’re having fun, Lawless.” Hearing a high pitched voice beside me, I turned to see Old Child. Since he was short, I didn’t even need to crank my head back to see that smug look on his face.

“Well…” I rested my elbow on the ground and settled my chin in my palm. I took a look around this manor I had grown to call home. My eyes eventually drifted back to Licht who was examining the presents one by one, searching for all the presents with his names on it.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” I smiled widely as I watched my Eve/Subclass now at the banquet table, eyeing all the cute food that were obviously made by the female subclasses.

“Say, Old Child.” I said after moment. “What exactly are Eves?”

Old Child sat down next to me and tapped his pipe lightly against the floor.

“That question again?” He huffed, but the smile on his face never left. “Shouldn’t you get it by now?”

“…Then what was that person thinking when he made us?” I asked again, quieter this time.

“Who knows?” Old Child said after a moment. “And perhaps we never will.”

I chuckled when I saw Licht carefully holding up a hedgehog shaped bun in the palm of his hands. I wonder if I should tell him that Guildenstern was the one who made it. That would surely ruin any fantasy going on inside his head.

“Can they still be even considered Eves?” I sighed as I ran my fingers through my blond locks.

The ability to tolerate sunlight, turning into the same animals as their Servamps, immortality…

All of those were traits of Servamps. The only difference is that the Eves can’t create subclass nor make contract like a real Servamp. But everything else was frighteningly the same. Just like that person created us, we created them.

Or rather…it was more like that person made us create them, but why? It couldn’t be for something as simple as companionship.

“Does that matter?” Old Child asked, giving me a look as though I was stupid. I laughed, knowing that he was right on that. None of that matters anymore. The only thing that matters is that he is right there, and will continue to be there where I can reach him.

“Have you heard of the names humans started calling them?” I asked, changing the topic as I sat myself up. “They named them the seven virtues to counter us!”

“Of course I have!” Old Child said proudly as his straightened his back. “Tetsu has been called Humility! Such fitting title, wouldn’t you say?”

“Pfft, fitting?” I snickered. “Licht-tan is Charity. _Charity_! Seriously, that’s not even funny! What part of that guy looks like he can be sorted under charity?!”

When I think back, the only thing I can ever remember about my Eve were his kicks and curses. The only plus side of his is his piano and his strange ability to never be tainted no matter what kind of environment he grew up in. He somehow always kept that child-like innocence in him.

“Do you really think that?” Old Child asked. “I’ve heard some things about him from Tetsu. I found that title quite suitable for your Eve.”

“Hah?” I turned to him, only to see a pair of large hands reaching down and picking up the tiny Servamp.

“There you are, Hugh.”

“Oh, Tetsu!” Old Child chirpped happily as he sat on his Eve’s shoulder. I watched as the ridiculously tall kid walked off, listening intensely to whatever Old Child was chattering.

I glanced back to the banquet table.

All of Love was wearing a smile on his face while holding up his struggling Eve who looked like he wanted to strange Doubt Doubt’s Eve.

Doubt Doubt’s Eve on the other hand acted completely oblivious as he crouched down by the table, lifting the table cloth up with a devilish smirk and said something to a certain Servamp huddled under there. Gun shots and laughter followed shortly after that, but I had already looked away.

I stared at the Christmas tree and inhaled the warm aroma of various types of food. Hearing the sound of doors opening, I gazed over my shoulders to see those ex-C3 trios walking in. I blinked, surprised that two of them even dared to go out seeing as it was sunny. They were each holding one of those UV ray blocking parasol while the shortest in the middle was holding bags from the convenient store.

Wrath was there a split second later, taking some bags off the raven’s hand while petting his head like a mother complimenting her child.

It wasn’t until World End also went over did I noticed one more person hidden behind the three. While I couldn’t really see, it was most likely the Eve of Gluttony.

I stretched my arms over my head before flopping onto my back. I stared at the light in the ridiculously high ceiling. Seriously, how All of Love’s Eve could afford this place after so many decades, I would never know.

As I bathed in the cozy light, Licht’s face suddenly entered my view.

“Lying on the ground there fits you. Finally learnt your place, shitty rat?”

“As if~” I smirked, raising my head a bit to see more of that delicate face. “Speaking of which, did you find my present to you, Licht-tan?”

“Ah.” Licht gestured to the other side of the room with his thumb. “I found yours too.”

I sat up and glanced towards the direction where Licht was pointing. I screamed when I saw that stack of presents shoved into the trashcan by the lonely corner. “What are you doing throwing other people’s presents away?!”

“Hah?” Licht’s face darkened as he glared down at me. “As your superior and higher ranked demon, I have already given you a present. You don’t need any more than that.”

“Licht-tan…” I gawked at him for the longest time before a mocking smirk lifted my lips. “Could it be...Licht-tan’s jealous~?”

I leaped into the air as Licht’s foot thrust out; hitting the spot I was sitting on as the hard wooden floor completely shattered under the force.

“ **HEY!** ” The midget Eve’s voice echoed from the other side as I ran across the room, laughing with a menacing devil chasing after me.

“Get back here, you rotten rat!”

“If I’m a rat then so is Licht-tan!”

“You bastards! Stop destroying other people’s home!”

“Oho~ Aren’t they lively?”

“Do you want to play too, Hugh?”

“Haha, are we having tags right now?”

“Don’t join them, Tsurugi!”  

After an hour of the game tag and beat up, I was completely drained. I lay on the couch as I stare at my phone. Since I haven’t adjusted the time yet after arriving at Japan, I was able to see what time it should have been and found out why I was feeling so drowsy.  

“12:00 am…” I groaned. “Hey, All of Love!”

I waved at the second youngest Servamp to come over. “Give me a room! We still have jet lag from Spain.”

“I’m sorry, but all the available rooms are taken by our subclasses.”

“Eeeeh?” I whined while fighting back another urge to yawn.

“Ahh, then I’ll just kick Gil out.” I decided, hopping onto my feet before looking around for that mop of black and white hair. It didn’t take long for me to find him crouching by the Christmas tree. Just how much does that guy like his presents? I made a mental note to throw away all of his presents except mine once he sleeps.  

“Oi, Licht-tan~” I walked over to him, but Licht just ignored me as he continued to stare intensely at something.

When I leaned over him, I had to refrain from bursting out into laughter. Two kittens, one black and one brown were cuddled together in the puffy white cotton.

“And here I was wondering where they went.” I snickered, quickly taking out my phone and snapping down a couple pictures. I didn’t waste my time sending it to everyone on my contact list and posting it onto the vampires’ group chat.

“Come on Licht-tan, I’m tired. Let’s…” I paused as I glanced at the stairs, then back to the two kittens. I looked over the colourful lights glowing from the Christmas tree to the thick, fluffy cottons layering the floor. It looked comfortable. If there’s anything the eldest of Servamp is good at; it’s always choosing the best sleeping spot.

“…Hey Licht-tan.” I said as I crouched down next to him. “How about we join them?”

“Join them?” That got Licht’s attention as he snapped his head towards me.

“Yeah! We’ll have an animal sleepover!”

“Animal…sleepover!” Licht’s eyes shone in excitement as he looked back at the two kittens. “Come on you rotten rat!”

“Ah!” I choked when I was grabbed by the scarf and thrown towards the tree. I hurriedly transformed just in time as I crashed through the pines and face planted right into the trunk of the tree.

“Ow…ow…ow!” The ornaments on the tree jingled as I fell down, hitting one branch after the other before I finally fell onto the soft cotton.

“That bastard…” I winced as I rubbed my sore muzzle. However, when I turned around, anger immediately melted away at the sight of that snow white hedgehog nested within the white cotton. I was completely mesmerized by the sight as I shook off some loose pines from my quills and crawled over.

“Licht-tan?” I called out softly, but the other hedgehog didn’t budge.

Licht was already deep in sleep.

I grabbed some cotton from the branch over my head, stuffing some of it under my Eve and the area around for a thicker padding before I lay down next to him. I yawned; about to close my eyes for the much needed sleep when the body next to mine shifted.

I shivered when I felt Licht’s quills sliding to fit nicely against my own and turned to see the other hedgehog’s face only a centimeter away. I smiled and gently leaned my head against his before closing my eyes.

“Sweet dreams…Licht-tan.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“Our wills and fates do so contrary run_

_That our devices still are overthrown;_

_Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.”_

_—Hamlet_

This quote means that we can control everything that goes on inside our heads, but the end result is something we cannot control.

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note**

I hope everyone have enjoyed this story! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update this. To tell the truth, this has been sitting in my computer for a year. I hadn't had much motivation to work on it until I recently went back to reading the manga. If there are any Jeje and Mikuni fans, I'm considering working on that next when I have the time, so if there are any Jeje x Mikuni fans, do tell me~! 

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think. Since Fanfiction.net is my main account, I would appreciate it if everyone could take a few seconds of their time leaving a comment [HERE](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12627241/1/Life-Is-But-A-Walking-Shadow) (anonymous reviews are accepted). Reviews are what I use to track whether a story is good or not, so it will really help if you could leave one there so I could keep track.

 

 

 

 


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